As humans, we are born storytellers, constantly engaged in framing and reframing our personal myths to suit our current requirements. We all have, in our own lives, examples of how we build narratives around incidents that have taken place in our past. We give these incidents our unique spin or twist, exaggerate or downplay, as the need may be, to make ourselves look either like victims or victors in the drama of our own making.
Anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson says: “Our identities and experiences are constantly shifting, and storytelling is how we make sense of it. By taking the disparate pieces of our lives and placing them together into a narrative, we create a unified whole that allows us to understand our lives as coherent – and coherence, psychologists say, is a key source of meaning.”
The stories we make up about ourselves can shape our identity, define our goals and determine how our future unfolds. We could weave the incidents in our lives into a positive tale of redemption – how we overcame specific difficulties and used the situation to our advantage. We could make it a story of contamination – how an experience left scars and created a flawed sense of self.  Psychologist Dan McAdams calls these “narrative choices.” He explains: “Our stories tend to focus on the most extraordinary events, good and bad, because those are the experiences we need to make sense of and that shape us. But our interpretations may differ. For one person, for example, a childhood experience like learning how to swim by being thrown into the water by a parent might explain his sense of himself today as a hardy entrepreneur who learns by taking risks. For another, that experience might explain why he hates boats and does not trust authority figures. A third might leave the experience out of his story altogether, deeming it unimportant.”
One of the most significant contributions of psychology to modern living is the idea that we can re-interpret and revise the stories we tell about our lives even as the facts remain the same. Making minor story edits to our personal narratives can significantly impact our lives. Modern psychology and psychotherapy research point to how changing our self-authoring style and focus could be hugely beneficial. To change our narrative, we need to identify the stories we have been telling ourselves, introspect to understand how something good did come out of a difficult situation, make suitable changes by crafting a clear trajectory and create a comprehensive vision that is in alignment with our own life path.
Any spiritual practice can help bring about this transformation in editing our narrative. Yoga, meditation, mindfulness, prayer, and chanting are all tools which help connect us with a reality that is higher than our self and lies beyond the realm of our immediate concerns. They help us discover hidden values, enabling us to realise the immense potential that lies within us and compel us towards a journey of self-acceptance and wholeness.
Mantra sadhana is one of the most powerful methods to bring about this transformation in our narrative, as the “word” forms the common thread between the endeavour and the practice. A method that utilises the power of the word is better than other paths to help clarify our intentions, and regular practice can profoundly impact our minds and personality. In mantra sadhana, words with great power and potency are repeated daily, helping the mind stay in the present moment, calming the vrittis and allowing us a glimpse into a deeper awareness of the universal consciousness. Repeating specific mantras evokes the archetypal energy that they represent, which already exists within us and brings it to the forefront of our conscious awareness.
Some of the small changes we can make to start crafting better narratives about our life:
1. Limit sensory intake. Filter out stories that provoke anger, resentment and negativity.
2. Develop awareness of the narratives that run in the background of your life.
3. Listen selectively. Do not give negative remarks made with some agenda by people around you too much importance. It makes no sense to block out all criticism or praise but be judicious in choosing what you want to believe.
4. Be realistic, and don’t get carried away by the power of positivity. While it is excellent to operate from a space of “being positive”, there are times when it becomes more important to take a more pragmatic approach than a blindly positive one. Know the difference.
5. Practice telling good stories about others, even if it is just in your head. See what good qualities you can identify in the colleague who irritates you, remember the attributes that first made you fall in love with your spouse and most of all, be patient with your children as they grapple with their own narratives. You will find that when you change the story you are telling about them, they will change too.
6. Become conscious of the script you have written out for yourself and take control by rewriting your own story with utmost awareness and clarity.
7. Develop a mindset of abundance as opposed to living with a scarcity mentality. When we live with a scarcity mindset, we believe that in order for us to win, someone has to lose. An abundant mindset, on the other hand leads us to believe that we live in a world filled with infinite possibilities with enough resources and success for all to share. Developing an abundant mindset impacts all aspects of life, from the personal to the professional, as it allows us to think and make decisions based on a more positive approach.
8. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by expressing appreciation for small and big things on a regular basis. Expressing gratitude is the best way to invite better things into your life as it compels you to look beyond the problems and see the bigger picture. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky writes: “Gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions, a neutralizer of envy, hostility, worry, and irritation. It is savouring; it is not taking things for granted; it is present-oriented.”

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